body positivity

A Self-Lover's Guide To Finding The Perfect Swimsuit For Your Body

bikini body


(Spoiler Alert: it’s way easier than rag mags make it seem.)

Step 1.

First, acknowledge this fact: Your bod is hot.

Regardless of shape, size, dimensions, numbers, pounds, scars, marks, or anything else, your body is the home to your soul and therefore it’s f*cking magical and mad hot.

Step 2.

Know that, because your bod is already perfect in all of its glory, anything you put on it — especially when it comes to swimsuits — is also going to look perfect (and mad hot).

I realize everything I’m saying probably directly contradicts your results of the “dressing for your body type” quiz you took in ninth grade, but can I just offer you this: instead of listening to master marketers of fast fashion, and “style experts” who know absolutely nothing about you, is it such a radical notion to suggest that you simply dress for yourself?

What makes you feel good? Wear it.

What outfit are you most comfortable in? Rock it.

What makes you feel confident? Repeat it.

Step 3.

Apply the above learning to your search for the perfect swimsuit.

Who knows? It might already be in your possession.

The infamous bikini.

The infamous bikini.

Like, let me provide you with a case and point. I have this bathing suit that I’m absolutely obsessed with. I bought it when I was in London because I was really lonely one day and convinced myself that buying a bikini from Agent Provocateur would make me feel better (and it did, for like 5 minutes, but that’s not the point of this story).

Anyway, after the sales lady convinced me that I couldn’t live without said bikini, I proudly toted my new purch back to my flat where I unwrapped it with gentle care and tried it on again in front of the mirror. The sales lady had been right, I didn’t want to imagine a life without my new bikini.

However, despite my adoration over my new bathing suit, whenever I was given an opportunity to wear it — poolside, or at the beach — I chickened out. Out loud, I told myself I was saving it for a special occasion, but in my head, I was telling myself that I couldn’t actually pull it off in public; that I was too “volumptuous” for such a scandalous two-piece, that others would be offended by my body in my bathing suit.

Because my body didn’t look anything like the body of the women who modeled my new suit in the magazines or on the billboards, it sat in my drawer for an entire season, lonely as I was on the day I purchased it.

I would visit it from time to time — try it on and admire its lines, the way it hugged and flaunted my womanly curves. I would take mirror selfies in my bikini and imagine fantastical scenarios of myself sunning on some golden sand in a far away land where I could wear my two-piece in peace. I longed to slip it on and pull it off, the way all the girls on Instagram did. But I didn’t.

Instead of embracing my shape, I shamed myself. Told myself I’d only wear it when I lost 10 pounds. Promised myself the opportunity to rock it, as if it were a prize for when I got “in shape.” I told myself I needed to earn the right to wear it. 

And then one day, a year and then some after I found my perfect bikini, I pulled it out of its original pink tissue that I had carefully re-wrapped it in, and I put it on. And I went to the beach. And within 5 minutes of being out in the sun, a woman tapped me on the shoulder.

“Can I just say, that bathing suit is stunning and you look lovely in it,” she said.

“Thank you,” I responded. And then I laid back down, closed my eyes and smiled. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'm not exactly sure what changed in that year, or where my confidence came from that day. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, maybe it’s because I care a lot less than I used to about what others think, maybe it’s because I have a boyfriend who loves my body the way it is (and no matter how much it weighs), OR maybe I'm just learning to love myself a little harder, but I learned a valuable lesson. I can wear anything I want to wear. (And so can you.)

SO. As far as I’m concerned, any bathing suit that you LOVE as much as I love my "London bikini," any bathing suit that makes you feel good, any bathing suit that you have absolutely any desire to wear at all...IS THE PERFECT SWIMSUIT FOR YOUR HOTTIE BODY. 

Trust me. 

(And even if there's nobody there to tap you on the shoulder and tell you how stunning you look, know that I'm virtually tapping you on the shoulder and telling you — you look stunning.)




Is This One Bad Habit Killing Your Confidence?

No matter what we look like, we hardly ever see our own beauty and perfection in the moment. Instead, we compare ourselves to carefully curated and usually photoshopped media images, caked up celebrities, professionally styled Instagram photos, and convince ourselves that we are somehow inferior. Or; we compare ourselves to our former selves, which is tragically, just as destructive. Today’s body-talk deals with the latter: Why comparing yourself to your former self is neither beneficial nor productive, and more importantly, how to stop yourself from doing it.

you are beautiful.JPG

The Heartbreaking Realism Of Comparing Yourself To Your Former Self

When it comes to body image, we often base how we see our current selves by recounting what we looked like in the past or envisioning what we want to look like in the future. We’re all for self-improvement but there’s a fine line between comparison as a tool for healthy motivation and comparison as an impeding form of self-torment. Comparing yourself to your former self can be beneficial if and when it fosters the cultivation of positive change and progression. However, we often use comparison solely as a means to highlight our current self-perceived flaws and call attention to the many reasons we don’t measure up to our former selves. (Which is severely destructive to our self-worth.)

It’s a vicious cycle. We look at pictures of our “younger”, “skinnier”, “better”, more “perfect” selves, then compare, judge, and criticize what we currently look like, often totally discounting how we actually felt during those times in our lives. (Which, if you’re anything like us, was probably very different than what you actually wanted in the moment).

Here’s the thing: Who you are right now is not a lesser version of who you once were.

Holding onto an image of your former self to guide how you feel about your current body is completely senseless. You’re not the same person as who you once were. You’re not who you were last year, or last week, or yesterday, or even five minutes ago. Therefore, comparing yourself to your former self is actually like comparing apples to oranges or comparing yourself to someone else, which we all know is absolutely disastrous.

Starting today, try to catch when you’re falling down the rabbit hole of self judgement and comparison. Instead of being so hard on yourself, shift your focus to the present moment and begin to work on acknowledging, accepting and embracing who you are right now because who you are right now is exactly who you need to be.

If you need help getting started, join us and thousands of women from across the world for Love Bomb Bootcamp, 30 straight days of radical self-love alchemy (because you deserve it).